This past year after listening to recordings of Jackie O’s crackling voice and the soft tinkle of the ice in her glass, I realized, there is a great woman behind every great man. Wait, wait, that’s a freaking gem. Has anybody ever said that before? I should put it on a magnet that doubles as a coaster. But back to Jackie, hearing her poise and dignity mere weeks after watching her husband’s head explode, attending the VP’s rushed inauguration aboard Air Force One and moving her young family out of the White House, well, quite frankly, she’s a testament to the human spirit. Really though what were her options? Fall apart? Become a public nuisance? Live as a White House squatter? With tenacity, stamina and unwavering public support throughout her life, after being Mrs. President Kennedy she became a heck of an editor, mother and female role model. Are there down falls of being the World’s Favourite First Lady, yes of course. But the real question here is: Where am I going with this?
Alright, so here’s a surprising revelation. I am SELFISH. Whoa, wait stop the WordPresses! Now, am I mean? No…ish I am not typically mean. I can be brutally honest but a fellow blogger reminded me that mean and honest are different even though they often trade clothes. Support, love and generosity aren’t things I have a problem with, so how am I SELFISH?? Deep breath- I like things to be about me. It’s not that I am competitive I just like winning, I honestly I do, but who doesn’t, c’mon. My grade 7 music teacher would agree with me when I say, I am not good at playing second anything, including fiddle, clarinet and briefly the tuba. This feeling of shameful selfishness was triggered by my Hubby, I love him, who got a nod of approval, I love him, from a big-wig, I love him, and I, I love him, despite my creative efforts, I love him, got none. We, of course like most happily married couples consider ourselves a team, so his win is mine. Could he have been as charismatic and brave without me, he says not, but somehow I feel like the happy good wife standing beside the podium, hands clasped and clad in Chanel; though that last part would actually be great. The problem: Who am I if I am not being recognized? I don’t want to be a polite #2, I want to be the beautiful Princess.
My Hubby is a Superhero. He is brave and he keeps getting better, with a little help from me:) And though we’re never actually competing for the same things, I still tend to get a little bent out of shape when he wins. I guess it’s just bold faced, green eyed vixen, old fashioned, unglamours, almost Hulk like jealousy and that’s the worst part of my particular brand of selfishness. Why is it that I feel less like an equal partner when Hubby is recognized for his achievements? He’s worked hard. He’s super talented. There are many reason for his past and future successes. He is going to continue his upward climb. So, I thought while this first world problem was fresh in my brain I would take it as a life lesson. Sometimes Hubby wins. That doesn’t mean I’ve lost. Sometimes I am gonna get picked last. But watch out when I do finally get picked cuz I am gonna ram that ball so far up your, what…? Okay, so maybe nice needs a bit of work. Perhaps I should try to be the world’s best #2, which is kinda like winning, but feels more like being the first loser. Good thing Jackie has a few more lessons on poise and dignity, clearly I need’em.
As for you my Hubby, I hope you’re winning streak never ends.