Rules for Surviving Canadian Winter Meliciously

Hey! It’s winter time in Canada! You know what that means. Complaining about the weather. Wrapping yourself up in way too many layers that never lay flat. Static electricity making hair, clothing and physical contact dangerous. We’ve grown accustomed to the mild winters global warming has provided, and we’ve forgotten the rules, customs and criteria that comes with severe winter weather. This concept was confirmed when I saw a 65+ year old woman walking around in her heels through slush, sleet and splashing puddles. So, people, a couple lessons to reteach us how to deal with the ins and outs of winter wonderlands and woes.

Only appropriate shoes are appropriate in this weather- Let’s think waterproof. Lined with shearling, newspaper or wool socks. Insulated feet prevent soggy, itchy and sad tootsies. Dry socks are your best weapon against winter’s bite.

Carry kleenex. Dripping, running and tearing up are all unwelcome partners of the vicious winter wind. Be prepared coming in from the cold to have nasal drip and rogue mascara streaks. Plus tissues are way more sanitary than the back of your glove.

Gloves, mittens, scarves, toques and muffs- The accoutrement of the season should be cared for accordingly. Avoid wiping any foreign objects onto them. Please wash, rinse and wring these items out. They start to stink around February Blah time and we don’t need that on public transit.

Hugs can wait for the gift to be unwrapped- I love hugs. I really do. I am good at them and I feel good giving them. But when I am dressed for Jack London’s Call of the Wild, I want you to wait to hug me until I am unwrapped. Trust me, I am excited to see you, but I need the physical contact and can’t feel it through my down jacket.

Sunglasses are for 80’s rockers- When the sun disappears at 4:30 we’re not getting enough vitamin D as it is! So, unless you’re driving, skiing or starring at the sun you should be bare eyed. Or it’s nighttime and you’re going for that I heart Hart look.

There are so many rules we should be following to stay Winterlicious! Winter is here. But not for all that much longer. We’re almost halfway there: Be brave!- Our shortest day has been and gone. We are on our way back to Springing forward. Though I would appreciate a long winter’s nap with a matching set of hibernation and crackling fire, I am going to keep on clucking in my winter-proof boots, bundled up in my chicken feather coat. You know it was super cheap on eBay and chicken and goose are pretty much the same thing….Right?

Rules for Surviving Canadian Winter Meliciously

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