Please read as a TMZ Valley Blonde.
Since I clearly have my ear to the ground, listening to the word on the street, as you well know. I thought I would take you aside and let you know what’s hot right now, what always hot and what’s cool but will never be hot. The list may shock you.
Things That Are Hot, Right Now:
1. Foxes. As owls and birds were hot last year, we are now in the year of the fox. Think scarves, hats, mitts. Things that are snuggly and warm. Special note: Fox fur is only hot if it’s vintage.
2. X-Files Reruns. Mulder and Scully are two beautiful people lost in a world of ugly circumstances. Also it’s kinda fun to watch the innocent young actor who would become such a celebrated fornicator. Hello, that’s who he was from the start sillies, that’s why we love him.
3. Mice Playing the Accordion. A classic revived. The big ears and tiny hands of a mouse, shoulder strapped into a musical keyboard squeeze box. How could we go wrong. It is a wonderful thing.
4. Piano Solos. The piano is feeling a surge of reanimation. It’s a sexy instrument. Just think about all the good looking people who’ve been on top of or playing the piano. Ultimate in piano chic is a blue baby grand I vaguely remember someone winning in a Showcase Showdown.
Things That Are Always Hot:
1. Unicorns. They will never go out of style. How could they? They fart rainbows and cry tears that give you the power of super strength. Plus I am pretty sure they are everybody’s best friend or at least would be if they met you.
2. Justin Timberlake. He is a crooner. He is a dancing machine. He is Justin Timberlake. A category onto himself. He is above man on the food chain.
4. The Showcase Showdown. Who can argue with the guess closest to the price without going over wins. And you only have to beat one other guess on something completely different. And if you’re within $1000 of the right answer you get both! I’ll take that bet.
Things That Are Cool, but Will Never Be Hot:
1. Wizards. Are they wicked strong and mysterious. But the mere fact that most wizards are old grey bearded men is by nature unHot. Not to say that a Silver Fox can’t be hot, for example Hot list item 1 & Richard Gere, who by the way has been that way since 1986. Sadly, Richard Gere is not a wizard.
3. Wearing Satin Gloves to Dinner. They naturally slim your unsightly arm fat, they can prevent spread of infection and they moisturize. Elbow length or longer look elegant, but also beg the question when are those coming off and will I enjoy the show? Wristlet with buttons say I’m cute but crazy. Gloves make statements, especially fancy ones. And apparently no one likes a fancy statement, unless it’s ironic.
4. Homemade Cartoons. Are they funny, yeah, but everybody knows they’re homemade. Which apparently means they aren’t actually funny. Which is sad- I know I draw like a beagle with a marker. Which might be my next cartoon.
Now, you know what’s hot right now. I’ll try to keep you posted as things change. Which they do, all the dang time. It’s hard to keep up. But keeping up is on the watch list of things that are potentially hot.