When I was little there was a drawer full of cassette tapes. I can remember the sound they made jostling together as I pulled the drawer open. That anticipation of silence soon to be filled with music. I can see the recorded homemade mixes. And I remember their strange titles, the weirdest though was one with a sticker from Niagara Falls. The sticker was advertising the services of one of their local psychics. At this point in my young life I had nearly no experience with that, except of course for Whoopi. I would hold this tape. It made me nervous. What had this Psychic told my Momma? What had they discussed? Did they make decisions? Come to any conclusions? What exactly was on this audio recording of my Momma’s pre-destined future. And was she happy with it?
It took me years to work up the nerve to listen to it. It’s presence had always nagged at me. The fact that I might hear the future by just listening to this tape; what was I waiting for? I know now, I was scared. I was terrified to know that I might learn what my future held. After working up the gumption to listen to it on my Bro’s Red Fisher Price tape deck with mircophone. I snuck away and wrapped myself up tightly. Hiding in a place I barely fit anymore. My mind couldn’t take it. My heart was pounding. I listened to the first half so quietly I couldn’t react. But there was nothing on the tape that shocked me. No great revelation. Just one stranger recounting the facts of another. One woman who was looking for answers and another willing to tell her what she wanted to hear.
From that day forward I had never felt the same way about mystics. Of course, I have met some while event planning, they were nice. I have played psychics; using scripted palmistry and a fake crystal ball that was actually made of tin foil. Acting like a psychic made others believe I could do it. And I was always a huge fan of the out of business psychic irony. But I had never had a psychic reading, until yesterday. That when I met a woman who was seeking answers and a girl willing to let someone help her hear the things she didn’t believe about herself. I know it sounds silly. But just having some mysterious stranger in a velvet wrapped booth, hushed in the light of a few burning candles tell me things were changing and it’s gonna be okay, well, it made things feel okay. I offered her the answers to my questions, but there is something special about saying them out loud. It gives it your words weight, value, investment. So, I may not have learned exactly what my future holds -though, who wants that type of responsibility? The logical part of me is glad that destiny is still altered by my decisions. But the heart part of me thinks sometimes it’s just nice to talk it out. I think that’s why there are so many neon hands in the night, guiding so many people towards their truth. Also, those lottery numbers won’t pick themselves.