I Claim This Pile In The Name of Melicious

My life is a giant pile. I hold onto sheeeeit forever cuz I’m too cheap to throw it out. I have dirty doubles of everything. Gym clothes I’ve worn for the 2 hours for the last 3 days. Stuff that’s not so bad, but doesn’t fit me. Clothes that the waist is too big but the thighs are too tight. I am always between sizes even though I have every one. I have stuff I don’t even like. I don’t use it, okay, wait, I’ve used it twice. The second time in hopes that I might like it if I tried it again. Episode VII: A False Hope. BFF is a fan of saying the state of your house reflects your state of mind. My life is upside down. Items that I use daily stacked on top of unsorted minutia. Piles of disaster. Like, there is laundry from last week, cuz Sunday is usually laundry day. Now, 2 days of extra laundry doesn’t mean anything, but it was out-of-place and building one hell of a pile. Toppling over and screaming to be scaled. Starring at it is when you realize the best tool for the job is a blow torch? Where do I even begin? For starters the giant laundry monster needed to be wrestled into the washer. Then take a breath and start sorting out these piles.

After spending a long day wearing hells, no heels and then hula hooping for 30 mind numbing minutes; I started cleaning up; and this is the Crazy Train of Thought that went through my head:

“I hate these shoes. I want to have shoes in my closet I’ve only worn once. Wait, that’s not gonna happen…yet. You just got a closet for crying out loud. Hubby hates that you have so many shoes as it is. Also, get a grip on the material things would ya? You end up hating most of the things you buy anyways. What is there like 50 jackets in here already. All varying weights to layer throughout the year. Cuz heaven forbid I not be dressed for the weather on set. And you have to be prepared for a million years, and the weather changes a lot in a centamillenum. Sigh, So-and-So’s* clothes are always so nice. I wish I was able to care for my clothes that well. Everything I own is covered in hair. I look like I’m a day late for a hair club convention. So-and-So’s clothes look great because they are new. You know no matter how well your clothes are cared for it’s been a long time since they were new. Duh. Has it ever occurred to you that a new rotating wardrobe was even possible? Well, no cuz, I am only able to buy either a top or bottom. Never both. So 50% always looks like its hanging on for dear life. And sometimes those over worn items betray me entirely with a full fledge surrender. Remember the splitting in front of my mostly male work buddies? I’ll never hear the end of that. I have to say I was glad I was wearing my granny panties that day. In fact every-time my undies have shown I’ve been wearing granny panties, oh wait except for that one photo that had to be destroyed. It would have threatened my reputation.

When I looked up from my seat on the Crazy Train through Mental Town, I had sorted out, stacked away, washed, rung and rinsed more than I thought possible in one night. Did I complain along the way? Yes, of course. Actually, I complained most of the way. First world problems and all that…Also, it’s nice knowing that sometimes we’re all going through the same problems. I am happy that my little trip to Tidyville resulted in a cleaner home and hopefully clearer mind frame. If I am to attain higher heights, a pile simply will not do, I will need to build a better foundation to reach my goals. For now it’s clean. Neat and tidy with hospital corners; for now. Hubby says he still loves me the way I am, but part of me can’t help but wonder if it’s my hoarding tendencies that will be the last stop before his Crazy Train leaves the station.

*names changed to protect the innocent

I Claim This Pile In The Name of Melicious

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