The dog’s farts smell like poison and I don’t know what to write. I have been sitting at this screen writing nonsense for the last 3 hours. Letting whatever gobble-di-gook fall from my fingers, and this is what I got. After spending a great #SerotoninSaturday learning how to use Vine, drinking fruit coolers and eating sushi; I was feeling pretty alright. Then Sunday comes with warm sunshine and cold wind. A nap, a chat and deal with human relations, only to find myself drained of conversation. So, to get the juices flowing I went walking while listening to old school phone messages: Nothing. Then I looked at finger puppets online (yes, actual finger puppets); the weekend was positively perfection. But I had nothing left to say.
Yesterday, BFF remarked upon my silence. I think she’s worried, cuz I like to hear myself talk about everything. I’m pretty interesting. But my lips were sealed. My brain floating into and out of discussion. It’s not like I was thinking about anything… I was just thinking about everything. It was then I remembered the first rule in IT, have you tried turning it off? I was having one of those moments when you realize you just need that moment to reboot. So I did. I turned the whole system down. But I think I had a glitched update, cuz when I turned my brain back on, it was just a gif of Adam West as Batman. Not that that’s not awesome, it’s just not very useful.
It was only after my 7th straight episode of 30 Rock, a serious tongue root massage and a 5 hour nap that I finally felt inspired. Idea bubbles forming on the surface of my brain computer. Which for some reason I imagine as a jar of green ecto-goo. The words practically popping from my mind. I was Inspired to write a very special piece. A blog wrought with emotion and witty word play. Then when I actually sat down to write, I wrote this. Not my proudest moment. And by no means a crowning achievement. But writing is best when the writer writes what they know. And I know lazy. I am also familiar with uninspired and my dog is still farting. I’m starting to think it’s because of what she eats.