As the world turns, so do the times. And times, they are a changing. So, I thought it prudent to update what’s hot right now. As always this entry is to be read in a TMZ Blonde dialect.
Things That Are Hot, Right Now
1. Reece Witherspoon. After her scandalous arrest, people are finally seeing her inner Paris Hilton. Plus she’s still super cute. Who could say they didn’t love “Sweet Home Alabama”, “Legally Blonde” and “Fear”. That’s not even honourably mentioning “Election”; which I consider her “Napoleon Dynamite”.
2. Reece Pieces Mini cups- especially the value bag. The tiny crinkle cups filled with that delicious nutty middle. Ummyumm.
3. Washboards, clotheslines and push lawn mowers. These laughable throw backs to a less electrified time are making a serious come back. Let those linens fly. They’ll smell like sunshine. It’s helps the environment, which is a hot button topic. Obviously.
4. The Jitterbug and the Charleston. The roaring 20’s are back. Grab your high heeled shoes and roll your stockings down. Cuz we’re gonna shimmy shake ’til something breaks. Laced with hints of Gatsby, you are free to reinvent yourself on the dance floor, to spin in your fringe and sip bathtub gin; though I wouldn’t recommend the gin…it tastes like bathtub.
Things That Are Always Hot
1. Far away galaxies, where conflict will always find you. Even if you’re in the cantina. Good news is, in those galaxies, if you don’t like the outcome you could just change it whenever you wanted to…well, until Disney bought them.
2. Fedoras- this excludes mini fedoras and anything that isn’t made of high quality Canadian beaver felt.
3. Crocodiles and Wolves. I capitalized both as proper names. I am talking about Dundees and Dicks. Okay, I may have taken liberties on this one. But they’re both pretty cool.
4. Banana peppers are hot, but not in the cool way. They taste hot and feel burny in your mouth. Also they make everything else taste like…well, banana peppers. Which stinks cuz who wants to eat a banana pepper sandwich? Nobody. That’s who.
Things That Are Cool, but Will Never Be Hot
1. Second hand stores- value village, goodwill & the Sally Ann are treasure troves for those willing to dig. And though a pair of orange suede pants my not be hot; they are still hot…you know, temperature wise.
2. Anything crocheted.
3. Talking sticks. In times of conflict this tool can be very effective. Though in common practise I have found that the suggestion is not appreciated. Especially since I brought the stick and am not likely to share it around.
So, Ladies and Germs, there you have it. All the nitty gritty underbelly of fad. The things that people are talking about. The word on the street. The DL. At least that’s what I’ve been told.