Dear Friend

Dear Friend,
I know it has been quite sometime since I have sat down to this computer to input all the things in my brain, and that perhaps you may have missed my mentalities. But have no fear, John Cleese and Woody Allen have set me straight. I know what you’re thinking; “Gosh, that girl has friends in high places!”. Well, take comfort in the knowledge that you too could know them as well as I do, if you spent way too many consecutive hours trolling the internet; instead of actually being productive. But no matter the medium the lessons remain.
Let us begin with Johnny-boy, I can call him that, cuz he’ll never read this. In a recent column for Cracked, he reminded me that anything worth doing is worth doing for free, until you can convince someone to pay you for it. That little by little is the only way to consume an elephant. Oh, and there was also something about how getting what you want might be a lot harder than you ever thought it could be, but that doesn’t change the fact that you want it.
On the other hand Woody Allen’s reputation and repertoire speak for themselves. His work ethic is unparalleled. With over 75 movies under his writing, directing and starring belt, he is proof that if you make it, they will come. A true testament to the fact that, no matter what you do, if you like it, if it makes you laugh, think, cry, ache, it will effect another. Period. Full stop. The only thing stopping people from loving your body of work, is that you haven’t created a body of work.
It is with those ideologies, that I launch myself back into cyber-space. I challenge myself to keep growing as an artist. A writer. A performer. A beautiful disaster. And I hope that you will re-enlist as a reader. A cheerleader. And all out fanatic…though, I might have to be earn that last one. But I’ll take that bet, and roll the dice, and go all in, if it means someone will appreciate my body…of work that is.

Hearts and Stars,
Melicious Manners

Captain of her Destiny Ship

Lady Needs A Break

Ladies and Germs,
I have always been a happy multi-tasker. I love having many strings of my life weaving the beautiful tapestry of my story. But sometimes, those threads get too long and tangled. This is where I am right now. I am working on too many different projects with too many bosses and not enough sleep. So, as my creative self is stifled, rushed and in disarray, I must release myself from the self-imposed pressures of performance. I love writing this blog, but my fingers have been and continue to be, otherwise occupied. And I have to be okay with that- cuz that’s the way it is. So, until after things settle down, which doesn’t look like that long from now, I am going on hiatus.

Sad, I know, but this is the perfect opportunity for you to catch up on a nearly perfect year of blogging. Thanks for your ongoing support & love, it’s helped me the whole way. And I look forward to getting back to this again soon.

Love and glitter,
Melicious Manners

TalkBack Tuesday: C’mon People Now

I grew up in a small town in a time when people weren’t focused on a cellular device while being out and about. We held doors for each other and shared umbrellas in rain storms. Now, of course not everyone in a small town is a nice person, but sometimes in this big city, I feel lost in the hustle and bustle. Especially when all my brief encounters are with people who are so disconnected from the world around them.

Q1. Would you rather live in a small town where everyone knows your beeswax or in a big city where it’s tough to find a friendly face?

A1. I have found that if you look hard enough, even a big city can feel like a small town. Those who I’ve invested in, know my beeswax but I am still able to maintain a certain level of anonymity in the city. I’m also mature enough to know that just because someone knows your business, doesn’t mean they know you.

Q2. Would you rather invest in online relationships or live encounters with strangers?

A2. Ooooh, that’s a crap shoot. There are so many lost connections that the WWW has helped me rekindle the dying embers of those relationships, that wouldn’t be possible without the assistance of FB, Instagram and Twitter. But it is always fun to roll the dice with the strangers sharing your interests. The way I see it, you wouldn’t be where you are doing the same thing, at the same time, if you didn’t have similar interests. And that’s one thing you have in common, think of all the other things you might connect on. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.

Q3. Is it better to be alone and online or surrounded by people without?

A3. I love people. I love the instant gratification of the laughter and shared experiences. My Hubby and I try to put our phones away when we’re out in the world (as long as there’s no pressing work to be done, i.e.; this blog) and the first person to reach for their phone pays the bill. It can be a challenge but everyone who’s had to go without their social device for a few days knows, that by day 2, it’s liberating. Maybe it’s something I’ll encourage more of in the future.

I feel like I have been droning on and on lately about my love/hate relationship with the web. And that’s exactly what it is. A web of time sucking social encounters that can wait, but it just keeps sucking me in. I think of how productive I could be, if only I’d put my phone down. So, in the future you will find me here, there and everywhere, but no matter where I am, I will try and be present. And that’s my gift to you.

The Starving Artist: Chapter 52: Learning To Say No

As an artist I have found myself being asked to provide my craft for free. To perform for exposure. Without thought to effort, time or cost. And in the past I have taken all those gigs; anything just to share my talent with an audience. Gaga says it best: ‘I live for the applause.’ Now, as an artist I know it’s difficult to quantify what my craft is worth. But I know for dang sure it’s not free. And I cannot live on the applause.

So, lately I’ve found myself expanding my vocabulary. And I’ve found comfort in one tiny word: NO. So small but so mighty. Oh yeah. It feels good. Like taking back the power position in my art. And making a choice to make art instead of flinging as much as possible at the wall; hoping for something to stick. If I choose what I do, when, for what and why, I can hold myself to a higher standard. I become a creator with passion instead of pressure. Cuz if all I’m doing creatively is taking on more so I can take on more, then all those important and paying gigs are devalued. And if I devalue my art, how could I expect anyone else to see it’s worth?

Since I’ve started using no, I’ve noticed the yeses increasing. Now, I know that the universe is about balance. So, turning something off, turns something else on. When you start rewarding yourself the universe congratulates you and gives you a, wait for it, reward. By saying no, you can decide who you want to be as an artist- and better focus on that. You can start creating better art for a better world. But seriously now, don’t get me wrong, I love freebies. I can’t say no to a promo gift bag;)

Where Have All The Words Gone?

Creativity is something that needs to be nurtured. It needs coaxing. It has to be cajoled and convinced it to come out and play. This is the best and worst thing about being creative- it’s work.

My family is creative. At least we’re creative thinkers. We can turn a phrase and make up words, terminology and conceptualize like you wouldn’t believe. Though, if you read this blog you might already be hip to that info. What you don’t know is that words we’ve made up become real; at least to us. So ingrained that the whole family -even those who marry into it- know what they mean. When I spend time with my family, I am firing on all cylinders. With each joke I am aiming to one up the last. It’s a mental workout. Sadly though, this intellectual intensity isn’t readily available in my daily life.

Now, now, that’s not to say I am not mentally stimulated by my day to day routine, I am; it’s just not brain boot camp. Plus if I was always ‘on’ I might find myself spending even more time alone. I guess what I’m trying to say is being creative doesn’t just happen, it’s a decision that needs to be made. Maybe it’s writing in a journal when you wake. Or it could be baking a cookie mansion. How about designing and building a performance art piece every month? Then again it could be writing a blog, where you get to create anything you want. So, even though I haven’t been writing as much as I would like, I know that I am being creative elsewhere. And it seems to be paying off. But I do miss these words we share.

I Fished My Wish!

I know, I know it’s TalkBack Tuesday, but I took yesterday off for my Birthday weekend celebration wrap up. If you know me, then you know I have troubles surrounding my Bday- which of course stem from mild childhood disappointments exaggerated over time blah blah blah first world problems. And if you remember last year was a disappointment; as the Commish was in attendance in all his pleasure wrecking glory. But I pledged that this year was gonna be better and it was; here’s why.

1. I was specific about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to do it with.

2. I asked for my a few of my wanted-needs. Those things I feel weird buying myself and avoid doing because deep down I’m a cheapo.

3. There was no pressure. It was planned spontaneity. Which is my favourite.

4. I performed, which is my first love. And though it’s ‘work’ it’s something I’d like to do a lot more of…even on my birthday.

5. The Commish was banned from all birthday proceedings. Yeah he was! And thankfully he kept his distance.

6. I am happier in my everyday life than I have ever been. Which is amplified by special occasions…which bodes very well for the upcoming holiday season.

I guess what I wanted to say to all those FB messages, the strangers who sent over bday shots and my many social circles was- ‘Good job, folks! That’s a wrap on Project Bday 2013.’
Special shout outs go to my Hubby who spoiled me, BFF who bookended the weekend nicely, GFF and my on the road Showgirls. You know, I’m starting to think this whole Birthday thing should be a yearly tradition. Though I’m willing to try it quarterly. ❤

Birthday Wishlist

Hey fans its my bday in a few days and I wanted to make sure you knew what’s on my Birthday Wishlist:

1. A new pair of skinny jeans- my old skinny jeans aren’t skinny enough. Though it’s not because I’m so much skinnier, it’s because they were cheap.

2. Gift certificates, to anywhere. I love shopping, but as you may not know, blogging and showgirling aren’t the most lucrative of careers. It’s nice to treat myself without breaking the bank. I also love AirMiles;)

3. Phone case for a 4s. Mine is peeling and cracking:(

4. KTP tickets. I don’t know when she’s touring…but that was the best concert I’ve ever been to and I can’t wait to see what she does for us next.

That’s it. I’m pretty good right now. I mean I’m happier than I have been ever. I am proud to be turning 32 and I feel like I have so much more ahead of me. Let’s do this! Bestest Birthday on three. 1-2-3! BESTEST BIRTHDAY!!!!

The Starving Artist: Chapter 51: The Optimistic Skeptic

My Papa B is a cynic. He taught me to see past the words to what people are really saying. To suspect the worst from people, then be thankful whenever that wasn’t the case. He’d reinforce that doing things yourself was the only way to get them done, never expect a free ride and eventually looks fade so you better have a fall back plan. He taught me to question everything, which is probably why I believe in ghosts and they scare the bee-gee-bus outta me.

My Hubby on the other hand, worries about my naivety. He worries that I will be taken in by smooth moves and a steady gaze. That the kind words of a stranger trying to sell me a bill of goods will outweigh all my common sense. He sees me as an innocent Pinocchio, being whisked away to donkey island, which is fun until you realize the error of your ways. And my ears are big enough thank you very much.

As for me…Just call me, the optimistic skeptic. It’s my hope that by expecting the best from everyone that they will realize their opportunity and aim a little bit higher. Hopefully encouraging kindness and achieving a new personal best. That leading by example and sharing that support with a genuine hope for everyone to win, we can start winning together. Wow, that sounds like a lot to ask a smooth talking stranger, huckster or fiend. But being an optimistic skeptic means it’s not a shocker when those strangers fall short of the ideal dream world outcome I’d hoped for. It’s the best of the light and the dark. Luke and Vader. Dee and Dum. But seriously, how cute is it my Hubby thinks I could ever be blinded by a kind word and a glistening set of washboard abs? I mean really.

Lucky Itch

My Papa B has always believed in those old wive’s tales. Like the one about the itchy right hand forecasting a financial windfall. Or how about the one where birds predict the passing of a loved one, which, of course comes in threes. So, what’s the point? Well, these little superstitious quirks have started to rub off on me…Even after all this time.

In the last few days I have had trouble sleeping. I have had itchy hands, feet and throat. The birds have been starring at me and I’m starting to fear the worst, but I’m still hoping for the best. Then there’s the has atypical impulses to purchase lottery tickets; which my Hubby refers to as idiot tax. I haven’t been feeling quite myself, but I also haven’t been feeling like anyone else either. It’s almost as thought something’s coming, in a very West Side Story kinda way. And I just can’t shake that

Now, having superstitions isn’t a bad thing. I feel like it’s the way to look out for opportunities, though I also know that looking for something often means you’re more likely to see what you want to. As with everything it’s a matter of perspective. I am a huge supporter of looking at the sunny side of life. So, I’ll take those birds and stare right back at them. I’ll try my itchy-handed-luck at a game of chance. And I’ll keep hoping those unseen opportunities start popping up. I’m open to it.

Thanks For Giving!

Believe it or not, I am not the best communicator, especially with real-life actual non-cyber emotional stuff. And this past weekend was supposed to be filled with giving thanks for all those amazing life amplifying things was no exception. But as everyone knows, holidays aren’t the most relaxing time and making a meal for 8 isn’t exactly stress-free. But it is a proven fact that by expressing gratitude, we all feel better. So, I thought what the heck, I’d give it a try.

This weekend, Hubby had to bring home the bacon. So, while I was eating turkey, stuffing and pumpkin everything he was working in the big city. I on the other hand escaped with my sweetest Puppa in tow, and headed down the highway, hoping for cozy comfort and a little slice of peace and quiet. Now, you should know that my folks have 2 dogs of their own: Reba the Big Lady and Oliver the Lil’Fella. Both Basset hounds, both filled to the gills with personality and both poo-bum stinkers through and through. So, just by adding my teeny Bean, I knew I could wave bye-bye to my peace and quiet. I walked them and snuggled them and petted them and kissed them. And honestly, there’s nothin better than wrapping yourself up in a pile of sleeping puppies; their snores vibrating through the springs of the sofa for extra added relaxation. Ahh, thank you doggies.

Well, that was the dogs taken care of, now on to my human folks. In an effort to be more giving, I volunteered to manicure my Papa B and Momma, massaging their hands and using one of my various talents to show them I care, cuz I’m just too darn tough to say it. It was my hope that I could also de-hair my brother, but he told me if I brought those Roddamn tweezers anywhere near him, I could stick’em, well, you get the picture. So, we talked and laughed and ate together- as adults. We snoozed and strolled and went to the museum and local vintage stores. I watched the leaves falling from trees and the stars circling above. I know it’s October, but somehow it feels more like Home; the way family is supposed to feel. Then I realized that I was relaxed and I was full of gratitude and turkey.

I am grateful for the time away. I am grateful for the love and the food. And though I’ve only been gone for 2 days, I know Hubby is missing the Bean. So, as I wrap a care package up to take home to my lonely Man of the House, I know I’m feeling a billion times more myself. And at least 10 times more grateful. So, I suppose it’s time to head on back down the highway. And after this long weekend of thankful time, I am well fed, well rested and covered in fur, which is a good thing cuz tonight I have to be a Gorilla, but that’s a story for another time.

For all those things and so many
more, I am grateful. There, now don’t we all feel better?